It’s been a while since I’ve complained about Ed Markey’s absurdly aggressive, scare-mongering fundraising emails. So, here’s the latest installment, from my inbox this morning.
From: Ed Markey <email@example.com>
Subject: I need your help ASAP
No, no you really don’t.
Date: October 31, 2014 9:04:48 AM EDT
If the pollsters and the pundits are to be believed, we need to win just about every close race on Tuesday.
That’s true. But yours isn’t one of them.
Right now, Democrats are running short — on time and room for error. And if we come up short on our $16O,OOO goal for October, we could be in trouble.
If we miss our fundraising goals, we can’t run the kind of GOTV operations that will lead us to victory.
Yes, yes you can. As noted above, you’re sitting on $2 million that you are barely going to need to tap into.
Help us keep our organizers in the field and getting out the vote — chip in $5 before midnight.
No. Other people need my hard-earned money much more than you do, Ed.
Polling guru Nate Silver says that this year’s elections aren’t like 2012 or 2010. The Republicans have an advantage, but as Silver puts it, “they haven’t been able to put Democrats away.”
We’re still in this. Democrats can win this year, but only if we make the most of every remaining moment of this campaign.
What are you talking about, Ed? You will win this year, regardless of what happens in other states. Nobody in America thinks that Brian what’s-his-name is going to win this election, including Brian, I’d wager.
Other Democrats, however, may or may not win. They’d probably find it easier to win if occupants of safe seats, like yourself, were helping them fundraise instead of padding their own campaign accounts.
Please contribute $5, $10, or more toward our $16O,OOO goal — we only have 15 hours left.
No. You don’t need that much money this month. In fact, you don’t need any more money, because you have two million bucks in the bank. And please, for the love of God, stop using “O” instead of “0.”